So my ten year class reunion is coming up in a couple of months. I have been contemplating going, until last night. I hated highschool, a lot. I couldn't wait to get out of there and now I'm thinking about going back there to relive all those memories? Well I'm not going. I may regret it later, but I don't care. I can't drudge up all those feelings of inadequacy and pride and comparisons and who is better than who. I have been so torn by feelings of obligation or something and I decided I needed to do what I want to do, which is to not go. Why do we do that to ourselves? Why do we feel the need to do certain things so other people don't feel bad or so that we don't look bad? We need to take care of ourselves because we are the only person we have.
I love the life I have now and I don't want to dwell on the past or try to relive it. My moment is now and I don't want to feel bad about the life I have now or the choices I have made because I'll be comparing myself to other people and wishing I had done more. I have enough, I am good enough, and I'm not going and no one can make me. (hee, hee, hee. That last part was a joke, for those who didn't get it.)