I've Let Myself Go

So the last two weeks have been a bit torturous for me. I have been to some crazy places in my head and I have been enjoying the food way too much (I AM AN EMOTIONAL EATER). I have this weird mindset where I just don't care anymore. I have been trying for 2 + years to lose weight and all I've been able to do is a roller coaster ride of the same 15 pounds gained and lost and gained and lost and gained and lost (and right now I really need to be losing at least 30 or more). I figure it must have something to do with this growth on my neck so why even try anymore and in the process I have gained 6 pounds in two weeks. So if I try to lose weight I somehow maintain the same levels, but if I stop trying I gain, gain, gain. It's not normal and I just wish I could be back to my old self, my old size where I felt good again. Luckily I contacted a different endocrinologist and I have an appointment on Wednesday. I hope I can figure out what to do and if this growth has nothing to do with my weight, I just might get a lot depressed. Here's hoping. :)