Thursday, April 7, 2011

My Life Lately, the story I don't really want to share.

So as some or most of you might know we have been trying to have another baby. After a year of trying and not succeeding I went to the docs a couple of months ago and found out I am not ovulating. By then I was so tired of the trying and the disappointment that I was ready to take a little break. I had an answer and a solution to my problem and I was right at the finish line, but wanted to quit. I mean seriously who does that? So after days of back and forth and sitting on the fence and running away from the fence all together I had Dave give me a blessing. I was pretty much given a stern lecture that I really needed. So I decided to keep trying, take this horrible medicine, clomid, and see if we can be successful. First round was a bust I was relying on an ovulation kit which didn't work so round two is in the works. It is still too early to tell what is going to happen, but we will see. I really do want another baby, well most of the time. I know they are a lot of hard work and I have been so caught up in myself and being selfish lately. I am sure you can tell by my posts, me, me, me, me, me. I really need to work on helping others to dig myself out of this hole. I am just thankful my Heavenly Father is patient with me while I figure out what is really important. Hopefully I learn it sooner rather than later. I know it is just another test on my control issues, I like to be in control, but I am learning there are very few things I actually have control over. Like my attitude for instance or what I am going to wear today everything else is just there to keep me humble. Dang humility. ;-)

I guess I've just realized how blessed I am that I got two kids the easy way and I really feel for those who have to struggle with infertility. I know I am only getting a taste of what others have to go through. I am one of the lucky ones.