Why is a month sooooo long?

I know I ask that question now, but is only gonna get worse later. I went and got my blood drawn today to make sure the medicine is working. I am starting to dislike this. I haven't felt good in a long time. A year or more. Pregnancy (when it happens) is only gonna make it worse. Why doesn't my body want to love itself? I am so tired a lot. I just want to hibernate. Sorry it was kind of a rough day for me. I have been an incubus for so long. I just want my body back to normal. That's not going to happen though. I like to ask why me then listen for the answer. I find it's usually slow down Heidi. Don't let life and these precious moments with your kids fly by. Slow down, breath in and out. Slow down listen to nature and all the things I have provided for you. Slow down, I am in charge. Slow down, the world wants you to look, listen, enjoy. Slow down. I love you, it is all for your good. Slow down and then I do and I realize all I could miss and life is better slow. It's tougher, things can hurt a little more but the experiences are too precious not to experience slowly.