Sunday, October 30, 2011

The Gifts of the Spirit

Today has been an emotional day. Not so much because I am sad but because this gift which I have been trying to repress came out and like my friend Kami said was like the Grinch whose heart grew 2 sizes too big. I have been fed tremendously today. My spirit has been cracked open and as a result the tears cannot stop flowing. I didn't want to go to church today, I didn't want to feel, I just want to be numb. But I went and the speakers talked about the plan of salvation or the plan of happiness. And it wasn't so much what any one person said but the spirit which has been nudging me for the past few weeks finally broke the wall I have been trying to hide behind. And it wasn't until someone came up and was being nice to me that I completely broke down. And the spirit is the one who nudged her to do so and I thank her for listening. Not that I want to cry because I hate to but that my heart was softened and all bitterness and hard feelings sort of fell away. And then more people came up and were nice to me and clearly I had no chance today. I KNOW that my Savior and Heavenly Father love me. I KNOW they answer prayers because mine were answered today in the kindness of friends. I am so thankful for eternal families that I have the knowledge that I will be with my family forever. I can't imagine losing sweet Lucy and having that be the end. That wouldmake me most miserable. I am so happy in the knowledge, of the sweet peace of the gospel of Jesus Christ. I am thankful for the spirit that testifies of these truths and although I hate it I am thankful for the gift of crying. You might just see me crying a whole lot more often and don't be too alarmed it's just me andin the spirit having a quiet conversation and from now on I am going to try and listen. If anyone would like to know more about the peace I have found through my church I would be happy to share. It has saved me more times than imaginable. I really just want everyone to have the joy and love that I have found.