That's the word I used sitting around the campfire tonight to explain how I have been feeling the last 29 hours. I can't really explain the inner turmoil I have been in the last month or so. Constant struggle to figure up from down and wrong from right and finding sometimes there is no conclusion, only the tender mercy of peace. "My peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you, not as the world giveth give I unto you." Or something like that. I am thankful for prayer, for the ability to even talk to a supreme being who truly cares, especially about the little things. Who am I in this big old world, why do I matter? Because I am His. He really cares deeply about each of us. Even when we feel small and insignificant. We were made to have joy, life is full of heartache and sorrow and yet even in the worst of times we can always find joy, sometimes we have to look really hard but it's there. I love my family, those by birth, those by marriage and those I have adopted over the years, you have truly made my life a joy. Thank you!