Tuesday, May 17, 2011

What I wanted to be when I grew up

There have been several discussions that I have been privy to lately that has made me reflect on my past and how I wanted my life to turn out. As long as I can remember I always wanted to be a doctor, not just any doctor, but a pediatrician. I wanted to take care of sick kids and make them feel better. I was always a sick little kid and I always appreciated my doctors. Anyway when I was a teenager and contemplating college and what I should do with my life I knew I wanted to be a doctor, but I also wanted desperately to be a wife and mother. I didn't know how I could make both work in the way I envisioned each to be. I could be a doctor and take care of a lot of kids, but wouldn't mine suffer from the loss of a mother. Could I really do that to them? I knew I couldn't. I had a mom who was always home, always. I think she was not home like 1 or 2 times when I got home from school that I can remember and I was devastated. I relied on her being there and she was 99.5% of the time. I loved her for it, love her still for it. I want my kids to have that kind of mom. Do I ever regret my decision not to become a doctor? Not really, no. That is not who I am supposed to be. I am supposed to be Benji and James mom the best job in the world. Plus I still get to play doctor once in a while when they are sick and that is enough.

Does anyone else have that kind of story?