Thursday, June 9, 2011
I am a quitter
When things get hard I quit. I give up. I bow out. People have often told me I am so good at everything. Not true. I just only do those things I am good at and give up on everything else. Well that's where I am right now. I want to quit. It's not working. Why continue to torture myself? I have never stuck with something so long just to keep having a negative result. When is enough, enough? I try to tell myself it will all be okay, but seriously you can only tell yourself that for so long before you feel like you're just kidding yourself. Sorry I am just really angry and sad. I keep going back and forth. I'm just not sure I want to do this anymore. I just want to take a six month hiatus try to lose this 40-50 pounds I've packed on and try again later, but the other part of me worries that if I don't keep pushing myself then what if? What if? I dislike those words. What do I do and how can I feel good about any choice I make? I just don't know anymore.