I tried to mow the lawn today. I think I got around the circle once then I remembered I had left a hamburger on the grill for Benji. My mind and body do not want to work this month. This medicine is killing me. I feel like crap. Usually I have a few weeks of feeling good, but not this time. While I took my one lap around the yard I noticed my yard looks horrible this year and I was thinking my yard looks about as good as I feel. I usually like to stay on top of everything but it's no use this time around.

The sad thing too is Benji feels horrible and I wish I could be a better mom and love him extra, but I can barely do anything somedays. I really wish my body worked. I just hope my family survives. That is who I feel most bad for because I can't be the kind of wife and mother that I want to be, that they deserve.