Monday, June 20, 2011

We are FAMILY!

Just sitting here waiting for James to go to bed. We have been at it for 1 hour and 15 minutes. Dave's at the rec center and Benji is sleeping, otherwise I would take the little buggar (whom I love and adore, except when he won't go to bed) on a drive. Seems to be the only thing to put him to sleep, a drive. Anyway I am just reflecting on my lack of faith as my Benji goes in for surgery. Why do I have to think the absolute worst sometimes. He is such a good boy and I would hate to lose him he is the yin to James yang and I would be a total mess without him. But I am glad for these moments even though I can be a bit morbid and dramatic. They give me pause to think about my boys, how much I love them, how grateful I am that I could be entrusted as their mother. Do they give me fits? Certainly. Do I want to lock myself away sometimes and throw away the key? Uh-huh. But even though it is hard, harder than anything I have done in my life, I have no reason to complain (well maybe sometimes) but not really. I am so thankful for Dave too. He is sooooo good with the boys. The best daddy. He takes over for me when I have given my all for the day by 6 pm and can't survive another second. He is the best. I hate that my body doesn't work the way I want it to but we all deal and they all step up and we all help eachother. That's family, that's life, that's what we do and we all love eachother. Tonight Benji even said he was thankful for mommy, thankful for daddy, thankful for Benji and thankful for James in his prayer (his first time really going out solo). So sweet ( see what would I do without these kids?). I am thankful they get to be mine FOREVER. Without them life means nothing.