Saturday, October 15, 2011

I don't know what I Was thinking

Do you ever just have a bee in your butt and ants in your pants and no matter how you try to stay calm and relaxed you can't seem to settle down. Well yesterday, and I apologize to my mom, Amber and Aunt Jody, but I had to do something and we have 9 boxes of apples sitting on the porch and the bee and those ants were making me jittery so I roped everyone into making applesauce. We got 3 batches done 28 pints and yes we still have 7 1/2 boxes of apples left. But I made it through the day, I worked myself to the bone so I didn't have to think or feel too much. I tuckered myself clean out that I actually slept for 7 hours. And somehow this week has been like that everyday, one project after another and at the time it didn't seem like a good idea, like why is my life suddenly so full and especially this last 2 days and this coming weekend? I think the Lord in his infinite wisdom is giving me things to do to help me through, lots of busy work. He knows me all to well and while I like to whine and complain about all I have to do, I am so very thankful for the extra work, the manual labor to keep me sane and from breaking down or wallowing too completely in sadness. How does He love me so deeply to give me what I need in my hour of need. Thank you, for the work and for the angel girl who has inspired me to be a better mother, to live life to the fullest, to be strong and happy in the face of the worst possible imaginings, and to love more deeply than I have before. I am truly blessed.