Tuesday, August 14, 2012

I am still here

It's been a few weeks. It has been crazy busy around here. A lot has happened. Benji started first grade, and no I don't have pictures because I completely forgot about it. James started preschool, again, and the same old story of no pictures. Since both boys are in school that gives me some free time to be myself. I was able to go swimming last week and get my haircut. So much fun. Also we had some fires up on the mountain behind us and whatever was burning reeked havoc on my body. I had the eorst allergies and was choking just going outside. So up until then I had been enjoying walking Benji to and from school everyday. Now the smoke is gone but somehow I caught a cold too that has gone to my chest and every time I cough my chest gets really tight. One of these days I am going to get back into the swing of things. Poor James caught whatever I have too and we have both been miserable the last few days. I got released from my church calling this past Sunday. I was surprised and relieved that I got a new calling, not doing anything musical. I am a new Young Womens Advisor. I will be rotating around wherever they need meand for right now I will be working with the laurels the 16-18 year olds. I am extremely nervous. I am not very good at stringing words together into complete sentences while talking and that darn spirit makes me cry whenever I feel it. So I am going to be a blubbering stumbling idiot that I hope the girls enjoy. I can do all things through Christ which strengthen me. It is going to be hard teaching this new dog tricks, but I know it is where I belong. In fact last night somewhere in the middle of it I remembered that I have been thinking about my times in Young Womens years ago and how strong my faith was back then and how much I wish I could go back to that time and relive some of my spiritually stronger days because right now I feel like a boat stuck in the middle of a lake without an oar or a rutter. And now I get to be back there. I know that people think callings are to help others, but sometimes I think they are there to help you, to strengthen your own faith, bring you closer to God. I needed this and I know the Lord knew I needed this, and I know it is going to be extremely difficult for me and completely out of my comfort zone but I have a powerful ally on my side and I can do hard things.