Boy I have been writing a lot, but I wanted to post one more thing because it has been on my mind all week. The scale is gone. No more weighing, checking, worrying, celebrating too much or depressing myself out totally. I am becoming a whole new me. When I weigh myself one of two things happens...
1. I lose weight and feel so proud of myself that I sneak and eat a little more or enjoy a nice little (okay, maybe huge) piece of cake or some such nonsense.
2. I gain or stay the same no matter how little or hard I've worked (mostly little, let's face it) then because I am so depressed I eat more than I should and have a little okay huge binge on whatever.
So I am rigging the system so I don't do that to myself. And boy does it feel great. My mom even mentioned that it looks like I have lost some weight and asked if I had. And I happily told her I hadn't a single clue. Apparently she does the same thing to herself. So bye bye scale. For how long I don't know. Maybe when I fit into my old clothes like my stuff from eight or so years ago. Then I will be where I want and it really won't matter what the number is whether it is 30 or 60 pounds. Numbers don't really tell the whole story anyway. When I was at my skinniest I was still considered 30 pounds overweigh
t and was the happiest lark on the planet.