I have been having a really hard time with something. Everything I tried to do to get rid of these feelings failed miserably. It has been a couple of years of torture and I couldn't find the problem. But last night it finally dawned on me after talking with Dave (more like crying my guts out). This tidbit or morsel had been wreaking havoc on my mind, body and spirit and I didn't realize until last night that it was even an issue or THE issue that was holding me back from inner peace.
Then it got me thinking about a talk I heard at Time Out for Women, a conference I went to about a month ago, one of the speakers talked about pouring out our whole souls to the Lord, our whole souls, so then he can fill it up with the goodness and truth and light. I kept trying to fill up this crater but it hadn't been completely purged of the negativity and struggle I was feeling.
Now did my purge solve the problem? No. Did I get the thing I want? No. But it gave me a new perspective that I hope I can finally live with. A peace and understanding about a situation I have no control over and that is enough. Will this problem arise again in the future...it is possible. And maybe some other morsel will rise to the surface again and maybe this time I will have the clarity to purge myself of it.
Our Heavenly Father and Savior love us so completely, inside and outside and in between and all around. There love is based on no conditions. They desire our true happiness, even in this crazy mixed up world where nothing goes according to plan and sometimes we don't find answers to really difficult questions for years, They are always there, watching, waiting and listening to us, ready to fill us up when we are ready. I am so thankful for that Love.