Friday, February 14, 2014

Do you want to be an artist?

Benji asked me this question this morning, "Do you want to be an artist?"
"What do you mean, I sort of already am one."
"Yeah, but don't you want to do it for your job?"
"I already have a job."
"Yeah, but you don't get paid for it."

My life isn't glamorous, I don't get paid monetarily for what I do, but I feel like I have the best job in the world. I always wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. I wanted to be just like my mom and have my kids feel the same love and security I felt having her stay at home. I am on call 24/7. It is hard and sticky and messy and tiring and monotonous somedays. I get next to nothing in accolades and recognition. I work very hard and get noticed very little for what I do. It is the biggest service position I can think of and is the most rewarding and fulfilling I have ever felt. It is as close to heaven as I can get and can be deep and dark at other times. Motherhood is AMAZING! Creating life, coming as close to godhood as we can on earth and feeling just a fraction of what our Father and Mother in Heaven must feel for us. I am amazed every day to see the growth within my boys, the lessons they teach me, patience I am still learning. It is all such a wonderful and awful miracle all at once. So hard, but hard is very rewarding, especially when you have a boy who loves you the very best. I am lucky, because not only do I get to live my dream of being a mom, but it also lets me explore being an artist, and a doctor and a barber, and a nurse and a gardner, and a handy man and a famous chef and anything else my little heart desires. And I get to share it with the people I love best, my 3 boys.