Wednesday, March 19, 2014

MY very best

It's kind of morbid I am sure, but I have been thinking a lot about my mortality and where I fit in, in the grand plan. Will I make it to the heaven I want to live in? I believe there are varying levels of heaven where depending on how you live your life and the mercy given through our Savior Jesus Christ we will go and spend our eternities. I desperately want to live with my Father in Heaven again. Be where He resides. Make Him proud. How do I do this? Be like His Son. Am I anywhere near? Some seconds I feel I do very well, but then I mess up. I find fault with someone, I take offense at something someone says or does and then I really don't want to let it go because it really steams me up inside. I can be a little prideful. Thinking I am better than someone or that they think they are better than me. Vicious cycle. Repeating over and over sometimes. Then I realize what I am doing, try to humble myself and realize we are all children of our Maker and none of us our perfect and try to love them as He would, especially when offended. Because that is what our Savior did, even when mocked and spit upon, He never grew angry, or let pride get in the way. He just loved. Love. We need love. And while I don't know where I'll end up, I am going to do my very best, because I don't want to live with regrets, thinking I could have done better or been better. I just want to be like Him, love as He did. Love. And I truly apologize to everyone I have ever wronged or hurt. I feel awful thinking about the nature of my character sometimes. I want to do better and be better, but I know it may take a lifetime of mistakes and chances and repentence, but I want to do my very best and I hope all will be patient with me. And in the end if I don't end up where I want I will have no regrets because I tried and did my very best.