I had a strange dream last night, fairly typical for me, but it got me thinking. I went to church in my jammies and was playing on an iPad waiting for church to start. In walks Dave in his jammies too which somehow was more embarrassing for me. We were both playing on the iPad and the sound was up and it was disrupting everything and everyone. The spirit of course was not there, yet somehow I expected it. And I kept thinking what can I learn from this. Then I thought I could use this as an object lesson in my Young Women's lesson, so I don't look like an idiot wearing my pajamas to church. And then I woke up.
This Sunday I really do have to teach a lesson. The lesson is on temporal and spiritual self-reliance. And when I woke up I could see how this was all playing out in my mind. Going to church in my jammies and playing on the tablet were not going to give me the spiritual uplift I needed or wanted. If I want certain things, I have to be willing to work and sew and toil and labor. I can't just expect things to happen without putting forth effort. I can't be spiritually or temporally self-reliant unless I put in the work.
Here is an example that came to mind when I woke up. Dave had a difficult time at work for awhile, in fact he was close to being let go. Not that he wasn't capable of doing the job, but that he required more work and toil and labor and training. Which I am thankful they allowed him to do. He was given a great trainer who made him do hard things, he went to a lot of specialized training classes and although it was hard for me having him gone so much he improved dramatically. He continues to fine-tune and hone and work on his job training. He never stops and looking back I can see the fruits that have been borne because of his labor.
As far as spiritual matters go, I think sometimes we expect to go to church and have the spirit and if we don't it is somehow someone else's fault. That the teacher didn't have the spirit or the speakers were so dumb and boring. But did we put in the effort to invite the spirit in the first place? Did we study and pray before church so that when we went regardless of who spoke or who taught the spirit was there to teach us personally? Are we putting forth the effort? Are we taking the time? Or do we just expect certain things?
I also thought of a couple of parables. The parable of the talents is one. The master gave 3 people different amounts of money, one five talents, one two talents and the third one talent. The person with five went to work and in the end accrued five more talents making his total ten. The second man also went to work doubling his money, making his total four, but the third man went and buried his talent, making nothing in return and therefore not improving his lot. The master came back very pleased with the first two making them rulers over many things, but he was upset with the third. The man had truly reaped what he had sewn, which was nothing. Are we content to sit idly by, burying our money in the dirt hoping for more? Or are we working hard trying to become better, be better? There have been times in my life where I have been both types of people and I can see the difference when I work hard and try to improve my lot. And I hope I can always desire to do so.
The other parable I think I will save for another day. This is getting a little lengthy and the parable requires more of it. It has become extra special to me of late. So I want to do it justice.
I am thankful for crazy dreams. For insight. For love and compassion. For the scriptures. For the Holy Ghost, my teacher. Acknowledging that He is and allowing Him to be in my life with more frequency has truly changed me and I hope I can continue to do the right things to allow Him to continue to be a presence in my life. I love my Savior, Jesus Christ. Eleven years ago, I needed Him so desperately. And He came to me, offering love and compassion and release from the pains I had inflicted upon myself. He is there, He is real, He is Good. He is my Savior. I am also thankful for a Father in Heaven. Who knows me and loves me still. I know I am His daughter, that we are all His children. That He loves us all encompassing. He is also Good. Seek Him. He is there. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.