Sunday, January 11, 2015

A weakness

Today we went to our new ward in a new church building. It's not entirely new, but there were a few new people. Afterwards we had a mix and mingle. One fault I have that I wish I could overcome and someday hope to, is my painful shyness and my lack of interpersonal skills. I know I need practice and what better way to do so, but there is this feeling of a ledge with a 1,000 foot cravass at the bottom and I have to try and make it to the other side and every time something holds me back. I can smile easy enough, but to make that first step to say that first word I just can't seem to find the words or the courage. And it is funny because they are the ones who should feel that way, but I am the one feeling all out of sorts. It is weird. A true weakness I hope to overcome. I feel like I am just getting comfortable with people I have known almost 6 years. I want to let people in, but it is difficult, something I struggle with. Something I struggle with even with people I know, which is weird, but true. So if I ever have a hard time with you, even if we're good friends, it's not you, I just have really bad days where the shyness takes over. But I know God can help me with this weakness, just not sure I am up for the challenge yet.