Thursday, November 12, 2015


We all have them, struggles of one kind or another. I thought I had struggles before, but they have seemed to increase exponentially. I think God has helped me so much more than I knew as I served in the young women program. Since my release it seems as though the help I was getting has disappeared in a way and I am struggling through life without that extra benefit and support. I am constantly on edge, afraid I may crack at any minute. So jumpy. Every little sound sends me jumping out of my seat. I am depleted mentally, emotionally, physically. I felt sustained before, helped by a greater power. Now flexing my spiritual muscles requires different strength that I am not sure I can muster sometimes. I really am a bit lost, but I know I can find my way again. I have great hope. I love my new calling though. The boys, all two of them, are a handful, but I am happy to teach them about scouting. It is a new joy and experience. It is just a struggle, especially when  everyone else around you is struggling too and you try so hard to be the strong one. I think I am exhausted . I need a break. This too shall pass.